I find it shocking how self-centred and ungrateful I can let myself get. I would like to describe myself as a hippy, a free spirit, as a person unfettered by the burdens of capitalism…. Imagine by John Lennon is my favourite song (Thank you to the director of the Closing Ceremony of the Olympics for bringing John & Freddie back to life 🙂 ) ….. but when I am ill, tired, hungry, lonely, angry or in pain… I forget all that & want want want!
On Friday, having been advised by the bank that they will charge me £10 to write me a cheque for my daughter’s Bus Pass I nearly started writing a blog there and then in the bank full of resentments about how it is always the poorest people in society who pay the most for things, such as electricity meters, pay as you go phones, monthly payment plans for insurances and appliances, older cars and their associated costs, banking services, postal orders etc…
Luckily for me it is not simple to publish a blog rant on my mobile phone (yet) and it has taken me until now to begin to compose it!
As I sat in bed last night, looking at my photos on my iPad of from the last few days of a family meal & the girls having fun on Peter’s boat last weekend I thought to myself “I really need to write gratitude lists more often!!!”
I have an amazing mattress, a really comfortable bed, in a lovely council house, in a really nice area, at affordable rent, a lovely camera which fits in my handbag (I want a DSLR which won’t) an 8 gb memory card, an iPad, 2 amazing daughters, a Peter, a Wilson (our beautiful cocker spaniel), a Lilly (my cat helping (?) me write this), a Myrtle (our Tortoise), and our Boat. And that’s a list generated from looking at just a few of my thousands of photos.
I don’t have a cheque book any more because I spent more money than I earn. (I have a dedicated album on Facebook of my favourite shoes!)
I am not in financial difficulties because teachers get paid badly or because my ex didn’t pay child maintenance, or because the government reduced tax credits thresholds hugely, or because I am not well enough to work full-time, or because my employer paid me late some months, or any other reason or person who i can come up with that I can add to the blame list for my current financial situation! No, I am broke because I overspent, and now I have to live with the consequences of that. (Throw shoes out of pram moment)
Now if I need a cheque the bank will charge me £10 for one. Not fair I cry! If I was rich I would have a cheque book & wouldn’t have to pay £10. This is true, most people in this country do have cheque books. Except those of us who mismanaged our money, or people a lot poorer than me.
I am rich. I have food.
When I got home and shared my rage at ‘The Machine’ with my husband, he suggested I give the people I need to pay a ring, and sure enough, (contrary to my protestations that they would not be able to help me), they were more than happy to accept payment for my daughters bus pass by Internet banking (which I have) and, they even saved me £25 as they told me I don’t need to get her an ID card to go with the bus pass, as I can use her Oyster Card as proof of age!
I find I owe the machine an apology, and want to thank Nicole at the bus company for being such an angel and rescuing my weekend!
I find I really need to eat some humble pie. And just in case I forgot to do it, my hero came back to life at the closing ceremony to remind me!
Here is a great video I found on You Tube. I hope it works!
PS And…. I am not in remission from Leukaemia because i don’t have Leukaemia, But my friend Dave does and thankfully is in remission 🙂 Please Sponsor him! http://www.justgiving.com/dave-adamson
PPS Have just found this great group ‘Bloggers for Peace‘ We hope someday you will join us……
Update August 2013
My friend Dave had a relapse of his Leukaemia and died on June 6th 2013. His family are keeping up his wordpress blog at http://daveadamson.wordpress.com