Today is my baby sister’s 40th birthday. She died on the 3rd of February 1973 of a cot death.
We only have four photographs of her. Most people didn’t have cameras then, and colour photographs were still very new.
I had written a long post about 10 days ago for Gwen for her 40th birthday, and I went to read it again tonight in bed on my iPad. For some reason I couldn’t find the post tonight even though it had been scheduled to go live at 7am later today. Then I saw that there was a post in my trash. I checked & there it was, and as I went to click restore, my iPad thought I had clicked ‘Delete Permanently’ and it did.
I am gutted to have lost that post, but I can’t reproduce it, and I’m not sure that I should.
In the post I had written a lot of things. Gwen’s death affected all of our family, she still does.
My final thoughts were to thank Gwen for my belief in angels. Because of Gwen I always believed I had my own personal Guardian Angel looking after me. There are many times in my life that things have happened that I didn’t want to happen, or times I have been saved from a situation that was dangerous. In hindsight I have felt that my very own Guardian Angel must have been guiding my path.
Tonight I wanted to check my post one last time before it went live. A significant majority of my family don’t like social networking and might not have liked that I had written a post on a blog about my baby sister. When I read it and re-read it again 10 days ago it seemed to be suitable, my version of a notice in The Irish Times.
I wanted it to be a post that anyone in my family would be ok about reading. Maybe Gwen thought it was not suitable?
Instead, I’ll just wish you a Happy 40th Birthday my little Guardian Angel. Keep looking out for me, I am far from clear of all those pitfalls that come along my path.
I miss you
Lots of love, your big sister