25 Days for Daloni – September 7th

I am collecting some jokes for my friends sister Daloni.  The reason why is on my post for September the 1st  Here’s some I found for today….I thought I might be able to generate a few more on here?  Please add jokes or funnies to the comments 🙂

Here’s some from my pal Al:

Thoughts that keep me awake at night;

If you decide that you’re indecisive, which one are you?

What do you say when someone says you’re in denial, but you’re not?

If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn’t the best way be to not torture themselves?

If there’s an exception to every rule, doesn’t the exception to that rule mean there are no exceptions?

If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?

Is it possible to be a closet claustrophobic?

Who do you send someone to for treating an addiction to counselling?

Did Yankee Doodle name the feather, hat, town, or his pony Macaroni?

What exactly is a hacky, and why does it have to be in a sack?

If a package says “open here” does that mean you can’t go somewhere else to open it?

Why did Sally sell seashells at the seashore when anyone could just pick up their own?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Who was in the kitchen with Dinah?

Is it possible to imagine what would life be like if there were no hypothetical questions?

Isn’t reading a self-help book defeating the purpose?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Are atheists immune from “acts of God”?

Why isn’t the word “lisp” spelled lithp?

What’s another word for “synonym”?

What if the “Hokey-Pokey” is what it’s all about?

If you suffer from kleptomania, is it all right to take something for it?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?

Did anyone ever pay the full price for a mattress?

Why does a dog hate it when you blow in his face, but will stick his head out the car window at 60 miles per hour?

If a doctor tells you that you have insomnia, is that something you should lose sleep over?

How much deeper would the ocean be if there were no sponges?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why isn’t “phonetic” spelled the way it sounds?

Do penguins have knees?

If Mayans could predict the future, why didn’t they predict their extinction?

What year did Jesus think it was?

I’m going to be raiding all my friends and families ‘funnies’ over the next few weeks to collect 25 days worth of  “cheerful, inspiring, funny or apposite poems, stories, reminiscences, photos, cartoons, drawings, short videos” for Daloni

Please add anything that you think might be good for me to use in future posts in the comments below, Thank you 🙂

About Barbara

Born in Dublin, living in London with Peter, my two daughters, Wilson our Spaniel & Woordow our Malshih (Shih Tzu-Maltese cross)
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