25 Days for Daloni – September 1st

My friends Sister Daloni has been going through treatment for Cancer of the womb over the last few months, and she is now just about to start a round of radiotherapy.

The treatment seems to be working, here is a post she put on Facebook a while ago;

The treatment is working and at my last CT scan the docs could not see any tumour mass and the tumour marker in my blood is now down to normal. Which is obviously fantastic news.

However anyone who has been through Chemotherapy will know how horrible it is, and though she is glad it is over & has worked, she is not looking forward to the next bit.

Julia had this great idea:

I came up with the idea of collecting from all of you any cheerful, inspiring, funny or apposite poems, stories, reminiscences, photos, cartoons, drawings, short videos etc etc so that I can organise to email her one every day. That way she’ll have something to look forward to each day, if we can together muster 25 of them.

I thought I might be able to generate a few more on here?

My family are a huge source of ‘jokes’ so I’ll start my 25 days of cheerfulness with some ‘funnies’ from my Auntie Eileen via my Dad

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME;
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do surgeons leave the room while you change?
They’re going to see you naked anyway…

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Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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Why, Why, Why  do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

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Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

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Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

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Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

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I’m going to be raiding all my friends and families ‘funnies’ over the next few weeks to collect 25 days worth of  “cheerful, inspiring, funny or apposite poems, stories, reminiscences, photos, cartoons, drawings, short videos” for Daloni

Please add anything that you think might be good for me to use in future posts in the comments below, Thank you 🙂

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About Barbara

Born in Dublin, living in London with Peter, my two daughters, Wilson our Spaniel & Woordow our Malshih (Shih Tzu-Maltese cross)
This entry was posted in Cancer, Health, Jokes and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to 25 Days for Daloni – September 1st

  1. Pingback: 25 Days for Daloni – September 2nd | Day One

  2. Al says:

    You should be able to get some material from my “Thoughts that keep me awake” page on my blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Al says:

    By the way, best wishes to your sis.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: 25 Days for Daloni – September 3rd | Day One

  5. Pingback: 25 Days for Daloni – September 4th | Day One

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  7. Pingback: 25 Days for Daloni – September 6th | Day One

  8. Grannymar says:

    There are 478 items to be found under the category humour, or by checking Thursday Specials. I hope they help. I am still in Dublin, moved to Elly’s yesterday.

    Like

  9. Pingback: 25 Days for Daloni – September 7th | Day One

  10. Pingback: 25 Days for Daloni – September 8th | Day One

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  15. Pingback: 25 Days for Daloni – September 18th… Oops! | Day One

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