A few days after finishing His creations, the Lord called to Adam and said, “It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her.”
Adam was a bit confused. “Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?” So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, “Thank you Lord. That was enjoyable.”
The Lord replied, “Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I’d like you to caress Eve.” And Adam said, “What is a caress?” So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.
A while later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, “Lord, that was even better than the kiss.” And the Lord said, “You’ve done well, Adam. Now I want you to make love to Eve.” And Adam asked, “What is ‘make love’ Lord?”‘ So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.
Adam said, “Lord, what is a headache?”
A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asks, “What’s that for?”
“It’s for your headache.” “I don’t have a headache.”
He replies, “Gotcha!”
Ned was suffering from severe headaches.
He went to a doctor who said “I myself suffered from that same type of headache for many years. This is how I cured it: Every day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head. Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes”.
Two weeks go by and Ned was back, “Well, how do you feel?” “Doc, I’m a new man! I feel great! I haven’t had a headache since I started this treatment! I can’t thank you enough. And, by the way you have a lovely home.”
To be honest I agree 🙂 Especially the way I feel today & if this is the best headache jokes the internet can offer, then it is a sad state of affairs!