Day One

I am collecting some jokes for my friends sister Daloni.  The reason why is on my post for September the 1st  Here’s some I found for today….I thought I might be able to generate a few more on here?  Please add jokes or funnies to the comments 🙂

Thank you

This is one is from The Laughing Housewife She has 1001 jokes on her blog if you need more!!! ;

Every ten years, monks in a monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words.

Ten years go by and it’s one monk’s first chance. He thinks for a second before saying, “Food bad.”

Ten years later, he says, “Bed hard.”

It’s the big day a decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, “I quit.”

“I’m not surprised,” says the head monk. “You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.”

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I am collecting some jokes for my friends sister Daloni.  The reason why is on yesterday’s post.  Here’s some I found for today….I thought I might be able to generate a few more on here?  Please add jokes or funnies to the comments 🙂

Thank you

This is one of my favourites from my Dad:

 Worms In  Church
Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!


A minister  decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis  to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into  four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a  container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into  a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was  put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The  fourth worm was put into a container of good clean  soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the   Minister reported the following results:
The first  worm in alcohol . . . . . ..  Dead  .

The second worm  in cigarette smoke . . .  Dead  .


Third worm in  chocolate syrup . . . . Dead.

Fourth worm in  good clean soil . . .  Alive  �

So the Minister asked the   congregation,
“What did you learn from this  demonstration?”



Maxine was sitting in the back,  quickly raised her hand and said . . .

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My friends Sister Daloni has been going through treatment for Cancer of the womb over the last few months, and she is now just about to start a round of radiotherapy.

The treatment seems to be working, here is a post she put on Facebook a while ago;

The treatment is working and at my last CT scan the docs could not see any tumour mass and the tumour marker in my blood is now down to normal. Which is obviously fantastic news.

However anyone who has been through Chemotherapy will know how horrible it is, and though she is glad it is over & has worked, she is not looking forward to the next bit.

Julia had this great idea:

I came up with the idea of collecting from all of you any cheerful, inspiring, funny or apposite poems, stories, reminiscences, photos, cartoons, drawings, short videos etc etc so that I can organise to email her one every day. That way she’ll have something to look forward to each day, if we can together muster 25 of them.

I thought I might be able to generate a few more on here?

My family are a huge source of ‘jokes’ so I’ll start my 25 days of cheerfulness with some ‘funnies’ from my Auntie Eileen via my Dad

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME;
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Continue reading →